Tuesday, July 24, 2012

My Advice for Newlyweds (A Linkup)

In honor of the two years Steven and I have managed to not kill each other (and more surprisingly remain at least mostly happy) I decided to give some tips to newlyweds, things I wish I would have known. Word to the wise: you're taking these tips from a woman celebrating she hasn't killed her husband. Use at your own risk. ;-)
All smiles.


Here goes:

5)  It's ok to be a little depressed after your wedding. You just went anywhere from 6 months to 2 years being at the center of attention. Everything was catered to what you wanted for YOUR day. It's pretty easy to get used to that kind of treatment. After the wedding, you're no longer 'the bride' and you now get the frumpy "Matron of Honor" title in weddings. No more flower tosses at weddings. No more bachelorette fun. And the worst part: you're now considered a full time adult at family functions. This is a huge transition and it's totally normal to feel a little sad. Don't think you're failing at your newlywed spousal job, you're not.

4) .The first year of marriage is kind of like the opposite of that song in Beauty and the Beast "Something There"

"There's something sweet and almost kind
But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined
But now he's dear, and so unsure
I wonder why I didn't see it there before"

Yeah, the opposite.


Not so smiley.
3) Your husband is crazy (and so are you)! I know it may seem inexplicable that someone would not match their socks while folding laundry and choose to search for matches out of a big pile in the closet later, but that's the way Steven some people do it. It's illogical. It's not time efficient. It just doesn't make any damn sense. If you're a good person, help him look. If you're like me, walk away and get busy insisting that the vacuum cord must be wrapped in a circle alternating with a figure 8. (Because it's important!)

2) Don't rush into roles. You don't have to be the happy housekeeper, the equivalent of Paula Deen in the kitchen, or Megan Fox in the bedroom. You'll find what roles work for you and your spouse. I actually enjoy cooking so that's the role I fell into (even though I swore I was not going to be some woman that was kept barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.) I'm also a lot more reliable with taking the trash out (Steven can't handle the smell) yet he is way more reliable than I am with paying bills. It's hard to not have pre-conceived notions of what role you'd like to fill in your marriage but just trying to keep an open mind will help relieve some of your stress.

1) Most importantly realize that you're going to hate your husband a little bit and he's going to hate you too. Not in the "want to do cruel things and deprive the person of good things" kind of hate. More the kind of hate like when you're trying to get your computer to work and you just keep getting the spinning rainbow circle of death. You're just waiting and waiting for it to work and Pandora quit so you don't even have music and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU JUST WANT TO OPEN A STUPID POWERPOINT PRESENTATION!!! And then when it finally opens you realized you clicked the wrong one and it opened last week's physiology lecture and not this week's. That kind of hate. You can't live without it but if you could just throw the damn thing through the window one time you'd feel a lot better.Then once you get the file to open you remember how fantastic the thing is and don't know what your life would be like if you didn't have a computer. That kind of hate.


Ok...let the linking up begin!


15 comments:

  1. #3: what is wrong with our men?!?!?!?!? that vacuum cleaner cord thing gets me EVERY time!!!! (it's currently wrapped the wrong way but i think it was laziness on my part this time.) and dude... why can't they match socks?!!?!?!?!?

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    1. I was totally taking a survey earlier about matching socks...it said do you match them all at once or "as you need to wear them" and I was like wth that seems like a waste of time to DIG through the socks everytime you need to wear socks...

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    2. Unless you are like us and have perfected laziness. We only buy one brand of sock (we each have our own brand of course) so we never have to match/fold them. We just heap them in their spot in the drawer and no matter which two you grab, they are sure to be a match :).

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  2. The Man would have an absolute heart attack if I didn't match his socks on the rare occasions I fold laundry (usually he folds, but sometimes it's me) - and if I rearranged his dress shirts? Oh, the fall-out from that is not worth even considering doing it. (He rotates his shirts and ties so he doesn't wear the same ones all the time. Smart? - yes. Way too easy to make fun of? - also yes.

    Happy 2nd Anniversary!!!

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  3. Haha, this is quite helpful. And hilarious. Thank you!

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  4. How fun! My post today is simply an encouragement to try NFP, haha. should I link it? Anyway, happy anniversary.

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  5. I am also celebrating my 2nd anniversary today but I don't really feel that I am wise enough to really give any advice yet. The only thing I would have to say is when you are angry or upset about something else don't take it out on him, he will not understand. Tell him what you are upset about. Then you will have him to comfort you instead of fight with you.
    Also if you receive nice china as a wedding gift don't unwrap it if you are planing on moving before you will probably use it. I just spent hours packing up our nice china which has never been used and now I have to hope it survives the move next week.
    Happy Anniversary.

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  6. We celebrated our second anniversary on the 10th, and a lot of these made me chuckle.

    A recent comment on Devin Rose's blog about marriage really struck me: "don't start arguments after 9pm, or whatever time would be considered late". Arguments are not always bad (and I would say they're sometimes necessary) but the worst fights we've had started right before bed (or when dealing with a baby in the middle of the night) when we were tired and cranky, and they are always about the dumbest things. You'd think I'd have figured out by now that my considering the silent treatment over an argument over popcorn is really just a sign that I need to go to bed, but it took two years (and a comment on the Internet) to make it click.

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  7. First of all, Happy Anniversary. I just love this post and especially #1. My dh and I have been married nearly 20 years and this one is still SO TRUE even after all this time. To extend the analogy, and sorry if this doesn't make sense to you, I would add that when you get the spinning rainbow of death, and things aren't working really well, sometimes it works to "force quit" all applications and/or shut down the laptop, say a Hail Mary, and restart it. Then it is often like a brand new laptop and works way better. :-)

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    1. Also, I linked to my Q&A with you--thanks again!

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  8. You are funny. I love #4. and the commentary on your picture. hilarious.

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  9. I am printing this out and addressing it to 3-months-post-wedding Elizabeth. Thank you!

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  10. I get the feeling that you get frustrated with the swirly circle of death sometimes like me :)

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  11. Love this! Thank you! Reading the others now...

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  12. I was the last one to comment, but gosh darn it, I just love this post! So about how B. and I both wash dishes COMPLETELY different ways... and we both intensely dislike the way the other cleans... such is love!

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Thanks for stopping by! I love comments so if you've got something to add please don't hesitate. Also, I don't require that you agree with me but I would appreciate if you're nice. :)

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