Tuesday, March 6, 2012

A Shitty Old House

Thank you all for your fantastic feedback on my Where Do We Go From Here? post. You all had great ideas and I think most of it is 100% true. So here's the situation I think we've got:


A shitty old house? Yeah, that's exactly what we've got. But if you look at it with the right eye, you can see there's something there. That could be one beautiful house. So all of us NFP-ers have bought this house and we're trying to sell it to all the skeptical sisters and mother in laws out there that just see a POS. So what are our options?

Do Nothing: Screw 'em! If they can't see the beauty it's their loss. Theology of The Body speaks for itself and Humane Vitae is nothing short of prophetic. Why do we have to spell it out any more for people?

Paint the walls: We can try and spruce it up without doing that much grunt work. We can tell people "Look NFP is just as effective ok?" And not explain to them at all why it's different. We can make all the NFP buttons in the world but if we don't get to the heart of the problem, it's pretty futile.

Fix the necessities: Ok, the roof is caving in and there's a whole wall that I can see through. There are some big obvious problems with how NFP is perceived. So we can fix what we need to. Tell everyone we know to just read Humane Vitae and add links on every parish's website leading them to Fertility Care's website.

Gut it: Because come on, it needs it. Yeah there's a lot we need to do and it's going to take a lot of time, patience, compassion, love, and humility to show society the beauty behind the Church's teaching on Natural Family Planning, the empowerment that comes with knowing your cycle in and out, and the gift that it brings to your marriage. But isn't it worth it?

Tear it down and start again:  The land isn't bad I guess. NFP isn't worth it. Let's scrap it and start anew. The church should just get with the times. Birth Control is all the rage, don't you know?

I'm sure my bias showed. What we've been doing is painting the walls and nobody's buying it. It still looks like a shitty house. We can fix the necessities but that just makes it livable, not fantastic. And starting anew is a joke because the beautiful teaching behind Natural Family Planning and Blessed John Paull II's teaching of the feminine genius is definitely worth the effort of revitalizing.

So it's going to be hard work and it's going to take a long time. We're probably going to look at the road ahead and straight up hate ourselves a little bit for ever embarking on it. Hearts won't be changed over night nor will nay sayers be silenced. It's going to take a lot of patience, love, and compassion (here's looking to you guys because I'm still working on those.) We need to be vocal about the alternatives to contraception without being overbearing though. We have to let people know there is a realistic alternative out there. Even more importantly though we need to love the lies, the hurt, and the fear out of our opponents.

It's going to be a long road folks, but fortunately we've got 2000 years practice behind us.


  1. This is a great post girl ! I hope some can be more open to it, and respect what couples do.

  2. I'm with you! Let's fight to the death. Because if we (all us young, intelligent, awesome people) don't do it, who will?

  3. couldn't agree more! brilliant post.

    Why can't we all be brainwashing magicians with a good cause?


  4. I agree! This is fantastic! It IS going to take a long time, and most likely it starts with us who have influence over the next generation right now. LIke me, with my children.

    Let's face it, the problem started with parents who didn't buy in so they didn't teach it to their children. So now we who have heard and love the truth need to teach our children.

  5. Great analogy! It will work, and it needs to be done, but it will be hard. One of my patients was laughing the other day that the "birth control" conversation was archaic because who wouldn't use birth control? Since it was not the time nor the place, I had to bite my tongue and make noncommittal noises in appropriate places. She seemed confused that I wasn't laughing with her.

  6. This is an awesome post! As someone who is daily working on "gutting it", yes, it is hard work, but what I've learned is that God provides the people and the little "rewards" along the way. It seems that when I start to get really stressed and feel overwhelmed, God puts someone or something else in my path to remind me that 2000 years is worth it!

    Love this post!!

  7. Love the relationship you've drawn! Such a great analogy!
    It will take a long time, but God will prevail! And we won't give up spreading the word!

  8. Awesome analogy! I've often thought this myself. I think our generation is doing some crazy-hard work with the gutting...we're probably rebuilding the neighborhood. As you noted in the "Where do we go from here?" post- it needs it!

  9. "Even more importantly though we need to love the lies, the hurt, and the fear out of our opponents"... "Perfect love casts out all fear," right? This is so beautifully said - and I have to admit to getting a bit verklempt while reading. You are on the right track, and the solidarity of community is so important here, so we can strengthen our own resolve, and encourage one another when the going gets tough.
    We need bright, intelligent, beautiful, charismatic and compassionate young women out there in the world to do this work. We not-so-young, no-longer-so-bright women will back you up.
    (And we need to storm the desktops of the USCCB and remind them that when they have panel discussions on these matters, there need to be Mostly Women on the panels, and not five old men in suits, because that's just adding lead-based paint to those walls...)

  10. Love it, Katie! No eye rolling from me :) Yes, it is hard to gut this house, but the results are totally worth it.

  11. I love the analogy! And I think you are right. It will be challenging, but after "meeting" so many amazing women here on the Internet, I believe it is possible to spread the good news.

  12. Fabulous post and analogy. It won't be easy, but it's absolutely necessary and completely worth it.

  13. or just show the world how very very happy NFP couples really are!!! as a couple they live the sacrament together..what a difference in the rest of the world relationships!! like living in a mansion!

    1. I know right! That is like that virgins show on TLC made "virgins" look like idiots and most of them are normal people that you probably wouldn't even realize was a virgin.


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